I think many of us spend a fair amount of our time waiting, myself for sure included. Waiting for the sun to shine so we can be outside. Waiting for something uplifting to happen to elevate our mood. Waiting for a friend to reach out to make plans to get together. Waiting to run into the right person at the right time for the purposes of connection. Waiting for joy to find us; for happiness to fall into our lap; for the stars to align in the creation of the perfect day; for the weekend to do X, Y, Z; for whatever current upswell of frantic activity we presently have to be over and done with. I think many of us are hoping that we can just sort of spontaneously fall into a good life.
I don’t think it’s a conscious undertaking. I think many of us operate this way without knowing it. It’s a learned pattern of behavior, instilled in us on the sly by our collective culture. Intentional, purposeful, choiceful living is a worthwhile endeavor to put our time, energy, and effort into. Because the thing about routinely waiting around for something good to happen or someone good to text us is our well-being is not in our own hands. The quality of our day – of our life – is out of our control, and we’re at the mercy of whatever just happens to happen, or doesn’t.
I’m not at all suggesting that spontaneous living or spontaneous joy isn’t a thing. Of course it totally is. What I am saying is maybe it’s worth considering actively investing in the things and people that are most important to us. Maybe it’s worth figuring out what our biggest values center around and what our highest priorities are, in order to make conscious decisions about how we live our life. Maybe it’s worth making a few more plans about how we will actualize what we really want in life.
I am not a very spontaneous person. By which I mean, you are not likely to run into me out and about and find me with time on my hands to sit and chat. I am someone who makes plans, enjoys healthy routines, and organizes her time with purpose and direction. If you see me out and about, it’s likely I’m in motion, doing something particular that I’ve scheduled and made intentional time for. One of my least favorite sayings is: life is what happens when you’re busy making plans. I say: making plans is how things happen.
I’m not saying we should only make plans. We can make plans and still be open for spontaneous happenings to take place. I know most of us are big fans of thinking we need to choose one thing or the other, but the truth is, there is rarely a moment that calls for the need to have things be so binary and opposing.
The element of waiting will always be part of life. We will continue to wait for lights to turn green and water to boil and people in front of us in line to finish their business and and and, but I also think there might be a bit of practice we can do, in order to experience moments of contentment and connection in the present moment, regardless of what’s happening around us.
If I’m not careful and attentive, I can easily spend my whole day in waiting mode. Waiting for an endless parade of causes and conditions to change to my liking, or just to be some other version of not what they currently are. One of my frequently used mottos is: This isn’t separate. When something happens that I don’t like and I get frustrated or impatient, I say to myself: This isn’t separate. Meaning: what’s taking place right now is not separate from life. And the reason it’s not separate from life is because that is impossible. Everything that happens is inherently part of life, simply for the basic fact that it’s happening.
I don’t know about you, but I want to live a good life in the here & now. Despite the things I really do want to be different and despite the things that are really not to my preference, I also want to practice being content right where I am. I want to be the captain of my own ship. I want to make active decisions and conscious choices about how I live. I want to make the most of this one precious life.
going outwords & inwords 