Serious Gumption

With heavy socks and an oil lamp in tow, my green puffy coat, winter hat & gloves, and a 1lb propane bottle to twist into the Heater Buddy, I fled from our 12X14 cabin to our nearby 1989 Chevy van. Lovely as they are, I wanted space I didn’t need to share. With his loud sleep sighs and tossings & turnings up in the loft, and the four-legged’s early morning antics, I had to get up out of there.

Quietude and solitude, uninterrupted time and space, are not mere wants or basic pleasures, but needs for me.

The woods were dark and cold and the sky was clear. The thermometer inside the van was bobbing just north of 20-degrees. I knew what I was in for and I went prepared. I fired up the portable heater and sat close to its friendly warmth and mandarin glow.  On went the gloves and the thick socks that were too thick to wear with my shoes.

Then I set up my cushion and my timer and fetched the small bell that lives in the van. O how my heart delighted in doing my own soul-crafted morning chant, using a passage verse from the Discourse on Knowing the Better Way to Live Alone. How enlivening it was to sing my heart out. To end the chant, with two slight edits to the original, by reminding myself about why I sit and practice: “The sage calls the one who dwells in mindfulness night and day, the one who knows the better way to live in the world.” (It’s not a great recording but I did record myself doing this chant last year. It’s on my SoundCloud page here if you want to give it a listen.)

Chanting and sounding the bell are morning rituals I’ve been unable to do when I practice sitting meditation inside the cabin, on account of my mate upstairs and sleeping. It’s a daily routine I’ve been dearly missing since we left the monastery. Whether I do the chant and sound the bell or it’s someone else, it’s a nourishment I am learning now is more important than I realized.

Note to self: I know it takes some serious gumption to toss yourself out of the cozy cabin right now. Off and out into the dark and early morning coldness to head to the van to do your daily meditation practice. But I think it’s a thing you need to keep doing.