“Perhaps the biggest misconception is that mindfulness is all about being happy or calm. While happiness and stress reduction are common and quite pleasant side effects of learning to be in the present moment without wishing it away, they are not the same thing as mindfulness. Fundamentally, mindfulness is about becoming aware of and accepting whatever is happening, which at times may involve sitting with painful or difficult emotions until they pass, as they will. It is a highly pragmatic practice that teaches us to see others and ourselves clearly so that we can make the most skillful choice possible in any given situation.
– From Ready, Set, Breathe: Practicing Mindfulness with Your Children for Fewer Meltdowns and a More Peaceful Family by Carla Naumburg, PhD
Last Friday night my husband and I had plans to go to a friend’s house for dinner at 7:00pm. In an all too common fashion my husband caused us to run behind. Known for his tendency to begin shaving at just the time we are slated to leave the house, sure enough, at 6:45pm, I see him go to the hall closet to fetch the electric razor. I am not someone who runs late. My idea of arriving on time often involves getting places at least 10-15 minutes early. I wouldn’t go so far as to say I am never late but it’s a very rare occurrence – well, at least when I’m left to my own devices that is. When my husband and I go places together there’s a fairly good chance we won’t be on time. This is one of the areas he and I differ in. Over the years we’ve learned how to balance each other out a bit – I’ve relaxed my obsessiveness about punctuality and sometimes he mobilizes himself so that we can leave the house on time. And sometimes neither of those things happen and frustration ensues, like it did for me on Friday night.